I started a new life few months ago ... now i have a new city .. a new home ... a new bed ...
I gave up my old things ... my old properties ... my childhood memories and seeing my friends ....
WHY ??
because of my heart ... i decided to follow my heart which lays down in someone else's gut ... i gave up everything for him willingly without any regrets ... i still have no regrets about it for i'm a person who seeks my heart's welfare and happiness ... my heart just blossoms around him .. it smiles , it flies and feel free ... it felt save and secured ...
now unfortunately every now and then ... somethings are discovered ... revealed & uncovered that makes my little heart worried .. less secured .
I try to calm it down wz every way possible .. i try not think about it ... after all i dunwanna my sweet little heart to go insain .. it just dun understand why his HOST which it cherish so deeply , is trying to hurt him ... why his HOST is so damn devious while the right pass is clearly in front of him :(
my heart just keeps on asking me ... what r u doing wrong ?? r u not keeping my host happy and satisfied ??
i just sigh , not knowing what to say ... i do the best i can my dear heart ,, i take care of ur host as if he was a part of me , i love him , i adore him ..i try to be the best i can for his sake ...
" Nooooo" my heart says , " u can do more .. i know u can do more .. i can't stand this anymore .. "
" Sue " , my mind reply " everything is in ur hand , calm down and u'll get though this " ,
I after this tiring , exhausting discussion between me , myself and i .. end up forgiving him .
After all , i do love him like i never loved anyone before , always been , always have , and i'll always will .
But i must've been doing something wrong .. i just can't get it ????????? why the hell he gets this urge of searching for someone old or new ... while i'am here beside him ... what will they give him and i won't ??
I know he's enough for me ... i can tell him anything and everything .. he's just enough for me ... i won't feel this urge of finding some comfort around someone else but him ... am i too perfect or what ???
IS he normal and i'm not ??? i always thought i'll be his only one ... i always thought he won't find space in his heart for someone else but me :((((
I always thought his heart will linger only for me ... i need to understand .. but he never gave me a satisfying answer (-_-)
I must stop thinking about this .. i must think beautiful thoughts along wz positive ideas about how much he loves although he does all this awful acts . i must believe that he loves me no matter what and he loves me the most .. that he will keep my heart save and sound forever till the day i die .. which i pray that will come before his day for i can't stand this life wzout him ..
My dear heart be calm ,,, i'll make sure u stays forever in ur host's chest .
I gave up my old things ... my old properties ... my childhood memories and seeing my friends ....
WHY ??
because of my heart ... i decided to follow my heart which lays down in someone else's gut ... i gave up everything for him willingly without any regrets ... i still have no regrets about it for i'm a person who seeks my heart's welfare and happiness ... my heart just blossoms around him .. it smiles , it flies and feel free ... it felt save and secured ...
now unfortunately every now and then ... somethings are discovered ... revealed & uncovered that makes my little heart worried .. less secured .
I try to calm it down wz every way possible .. i try not think about it ... after all i dunwanna my sweet little heart to go insain .. it just dun understand why his HOST which it cherish so deeply , is trying to hurt him ... why his HOST is so damn devious while the right pass is clearly in front of him :(
my heart just keeps on asking me ... what r u doing wrong ?? r u not keeping my host happy and satisfied ??
i just sigh , not knowing what to say ... i do the best i can my dear heart ,, i take care of ur host as if he was a part of me , i love him , i adore him ..i try to be the best i can for his sake ...
" Nooooo" my heart says , " u can do more .. i know u can do more .. i can't stand this anymore .. "
" Sue " , my mind reply " everything is in ur hand , calm down and u'll get though this " ,
I after this tiring , exhausting discussion between me , myself and i .. end up forgiving him .
After all , i do love him like i never loved anyone before , always been , always have , and i'll always will .
But i must've been doing something wrong .. i just can't get it ????????? why the hell he gets this urge of searching for someone old or new ... while i'am here beside him ... what will they give him and i won't ??
I know he's enough for me ... i can tell him anything and everything .. he's just enough for me ... i won't feel this urge of finding some comfort around someone else but him ... am i too perfect or what ???
IS he normal and i'm not ??? i always thought i'll be his only one ... i always thought he won't find space in his heart for someone else but me :((((
I always thought his heart will linger only for me ... i need to understand .. but he never gave me a satisfying answer (-_-)
I must stop thinking about this .. i must think beautiful thoughts along wz positive ideas about how much he loves although he does all this awful acts . i must believe that he loves me no matter what and he loves me the most .. that he will keep my heart save and sound forever till the day i die .. which i pray that will come before his day for i can't stand this life wzout him ..
My dear heart be calm ,,, i'll make sure u stays forever in ur host's chest .
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